It was 5am on June 10th that I decided I needed to go to Waco as soon as possible. I had gotten a job offer to teach at Conally High about a month prior and I needed to see if the move was just the change I had been searching for. I needed clarity.
June 13th, I hopped on a plane with adventure on my mind. I flew into Dallas Love Field and drove for an hour and a half to get to Waco. It was everything I remembered it was... beautiful.
My first stop was Common Grounds, a local coffee shop that makes you feel as if you are living in an eclectic tree house. The sign outside read, "now watch me sip," and I must say, I like a town with a sense of humor.
I stayed until they closed shop and then headed for my air bnb. The house was a grayish blue with a single cedar wood accent wall with silver mid century house numbers and a metal cut out sign that said "home." It sure felt like it, my little craftsman sanctuary.
The first day or two seemed to pass by at an average pace. My mind was filled with all of the what if's and whys, but as time passed, friends were made, and all of a sudden I felt at home.
One of the first nights I was there, I went to an event called Analogue which was a confessional story telling showcase at Pinewood Roasters. It was the perfect introduction to this journey of mine. The theme of the night was "Lost in Waco." Which was funny because at the time, I felt lost everywhere. Many told stories of love and loss, and all the while I felt lost for similar reasons. I wanted to feel like myself, unapologetically me.
The wildest realization that I had come to was that I was the same person, no matter where I went. Outgoing. Quirky. Adventurous. Me.
I even got up on stage and told them that I was currently lost, trying to decided between a city that excites me and a town that I am proud to call mine.
I have been struggling with the "not enough" bug...you know, that one that crawls under your skin when you least expect it and tells you that you are not "good enough, smart enough, strong enough, pretty enough..."
I squashed that bug the moment I stepped on stage and put that microphone up to my mouth in front of a bunch of random strangers while holding my topo chico. I felt refreshed to let it all out and I was proud to say that I am a 2 & a 7, an ENFJ, both Slitheryn and Giffindor. In short, I'm a bit of a clustery, contradictory mess and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am strong. I am sassy. I am brave. As Walt Whitman once stated, "Do I contradict myself, very well then, I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes."
The following days consisted of having a full on tug of war constantly playing out in my mind. I felt almost as if that song by The Clash was on a continuous loop of a broken record, "Should I stay or should I go."
There were so many things that I loved about this little town. It was cozy and different. The people were incredibly kind and welcoming everywhere you went. I liked that people would just pick up a conversation and that they weren't consumed with their cell phones.
I went to two coffee shops a day, journaled, tried amazing restaurants and bars, went a concert, shopped the silos, I even asked cute Baylor boys on photoshoots... You could say that I was, "living my best Texas life." I wouldn't have traded a moment of that solo trip for anything in the world.
I love my hometown. I'm actually kind of obsessed with it... I love the community. My friends. The businesses. My photography business. My University. My church. My family. The coffee shops. The houses.
Everything.
I enjoy meeting new people, going new places, and doing new things. That's why I enjoyed Waco so much. The entire time I was there, I found myself thinking, "This is exactly what Redlands needs, maybe I could be the one to bring it back." So keep an eye out for a story telling event, some southern hospitality, and a whole lot of coffee shop hangs with strangers/new friends.
Although I may end up in Waco one day,and I am already planning my next trip back, now is a time for me to flourish and grow here.
Lost in Redlands if you will...
I am choosing to stay because I want to. That is enough.
I am enough.
So are you.
So catch me at Cope Middle School teaching 8th graders how dope English is while coordinating their EL program. On the field at Citrus Valley photographing my former students kick ass during football games. At church every Tuesday night and Sunday morning with the best small group ever. Around downtown with my family and friends. And of course, at Augies writing short stories, poetry, and blogging about all of my crazy adventures.
It feels so good to be lost, in Redlands.
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